Adventures of a Duty Elder

Adventures of a Duty Elder

Palm Sunday excitement!

Sunday 13 April 2014

0745: Alarm goes off. Think I'll have a little snooze this morning...

0830: Thoroughly enjoying my Sunday morning snooze. Pull duvet over my head... it's not like I've got much on today...

0831: Heck! I'm Duty Elder this morning. The church won't open itself... I've got so much to do before the crowds arrive! 

0832: Hits snooze button. Just another ten minutes...

0856: GAH! I turned the alarm off... I'm totally running late... must shower... eat breakfast... but first let me update Facebook and Twitter...

0920: Coffee... breakfast...coffee... three Facebook comments. Best check those before I leave, yeah?

0932: Where are the car keys?! I'm completely running late! How did this happen?! 

0936: Keep calm. The Minister will never know. Pretty sure he rocks up with seconds to spare usually...

0945: Church door won't open. Oh for crying out loud... give me a break... Maybe I just need to give the door a shove... "Hello! Who's banging the door?" Oh heck, it's The Minister....

0947: Delighted to notice that The Minister has kindly turned on the lights, unlocked the doors, placed the service sheets on the table...Check list. Not much else I need to do except fetch a glass of water for His Nibs The Minister. Honestly, this Duty Elder thing is a doddle! 

0955: The Minister calls a Strategy Meeting #1

The Minister: "Matthew. With hundreds of possible worshippers attending this morning we need this service to run like clockwork. I need you to be positioned by Door #1 at 1045 while I send the Palm Carrier to lead the congregation out of the church into the street and then I need you at Door #2 at precisely 1048 to guide said carrier... Matthew, are you listening?

Me: Yeah, but why are we going outside with palms....?"

The Minister: "Oh just a little event called Palm Sunday!"

Me: "Oh of course... yes, completely on message now. Yes, Palm Sunday... totally understand. Palms. Yes. Brilliant. 

The Minister: [outlining each stage in much detail] "Are we all clear?"

The Minister's Wife: "Are we sure the congregation knows where to go when they're outside? Have we conducted a vigorous risk assessment? Have we any Hi-Viz jackets for the crowd martial..."

1004: Veto the practice run through. 

1008: Hi-Viz jackets vetoed. 

1015: The crowds arrive... if we all sit together we could probably pass as a 'crowd!'

1021: The Minister calls a Strategy Meeting #2

The Minister: "Where's Beth? Who's doing The Reading? Who's reading the notices? Do you know what your doing re: the Palm Sunday Crowd Maneuver? Did you buy milk for post-service light refreshments?"

Me: [rubs The Minister's back] There, there... it's all fine. All under control..." Darn it! Totally forgot the milk!

1033: Service starts. Take my seat in the foyer. Best check in on Facebook....

Practically a stampede!

1045: Crikey! I haven't opened the doors! The Palm Carrier is making her way towards the door. I dash to the door. Phew! Made it! The Palm hymn is sounding lovely!

1047: Blimey! That was quick! They are making their way to the pews having completed the Palm Sunday procession in record time!

1056: Patiently wait for the stragglers to take their seats! Noticed that The Minister is the only person left singing the hymn; everyone else gave up ages ago! 

1106: Aha, The Minister starts his sermon. On past experience I should be able to pop to the supermarket for milk (and do my weekly shop) before the sermon finishes.

1122: Milk sorted... sermon still going strong!

1135: It's over! I praise myself on a job well done. Honestly, it's a breeze! Although, maybe I should have arrived 20 minutes earlier!

1140: Just been reminded that I also need to lock up. Walk back to church.

What are you reading during Lent?

What are you reading during Lent?

My reading for Lent

I love Lent. It's my absolute favourite time of the year. I prefer Lent and Easter to Advent and Christmas. There's no stress involved; rather the opposite. Lent is a time for reflection, contemplation and giving up alcohol... well, for me anyway! It's Week Three and so far I am not craving a splash of the good stuff! 

In fact, I'm doing extremely well! Could this be the year I stop drinking altogether? I doubt it... I love a Vesper Martini and a drop of Chianti. But this could be there year that I seriously limit and reduce my alcohol intake!

But I digress. What I really wanted to know was what are you all reading during Lent? I always choose a suitable religious book to focus my mind and this year I decided to re-read Easter by Michael Arditti. It's a wonderful novel set in the fictional parish of St Mary-in-the-Vale during Holy Week. Arditti's novel explores what it means to be Christian for ordinary church goers in a society dominated by consumerism, suffering and cynicism. 

The parish of St Mary-in-the-Vale, Hampstead, is preparing for Easter. In his Palm Sunday sermon, the Vicar explains that Christ's crucifixion and redemption are taking place every day. He little suspects that, before the week is out, he and his entire congregation will be caught up in a latter-day Passion story which will tear apart their lives.

Doesn't it sound great? I'll write a fuller review once I've finished it.

So, what are you reading this Lent? Have your read Easter? if so, what did you think of it?

Until next time.

With best wishes
Matt the Elder